Thursday, September 20, 2007

Shake Rattle & (Loo) Roll

It doesn't seem that long ago that my now 1 year old was enthralled by simple things like his fingers, a speck of dust in the sun's rays, or even a baby rattle. Back then, it seemed, we were off to a good start. All babies delight in the discovery of their fingers after all. And what baby doesn't love a good shake of the rattle?

The good old days. They are gone. For now my darling son has moved on to grander horizons, no longer satisfied with these simple things that life has to offer. Even the brightly coloured, battery operated train that we bought him is no longer proving interesting enough. He's had to seek more intriguing entertainment elsewhere. And elsewhere (much to my dismay) happens to be the bathroom.

Yes, this entry is dedicated to my 1 year old's obsession with all things toilet related. I'm not sure if it's because he's a boy and as such naturally attracted to dirt or all things dirty (or potentially so). My daughters certainly were never more than passingly interested in the loo. But but my son? Well, he is obsessed.

He senses when the opportunity arises and is not one to pass it up. It's an innate ability to know when the bathroom door is even slightly ajar, thus allowing him access to the forbidden territory, sneaking in when no one is watching.

But we know. Oh yes, we know when he's been there. The signs are too clear to go unnoticed. Some are blatant such as miles of loo roll piled on the bathroom floor, sometimes torn to bits in fits of glee, other times dragged throughout the house in a trail leading back to the scene of the crime, most likely pasted to the perpetrator's foot or sticky hand while making a hasty retreat. Other are less obvious. Signs like the bits of rubbish found behind the sink, bits that have been removed from the bathroom bin for closer inspection and determination of their potential, then carelessly discarded once they have been found to be no more interesting than a speck of dust or baby rattle.

The worst though.... the worst this fearless intruder has offered up to us is the dreaded Toilet Cornucopia. What ,you ask, is a Toilet Cornucopia? Simply put, it is toilet filled to the brim with whatever isn't nailed down and is able to be lifted by a slightly undersized 1 year old. Yes, he has found a way to satisfy his curiosity and zest for throwing and splashing with a highly amusing game of throw everything into the toilet. Nothing is sacred to this young hooligan as I have fished out items ranging from deodorant to loo roll to magazines to brushes. Once, in a very bold yet brash act, even his dummy (pacifier to you Americans) went in, only to be found later by my 7 year old, only a little too late....

It has thus become part of my daily ritual to make runs around the house, checking that the bathroom doors are firmly closed. I tug firmly at each door and am satisfied only when I hear that confirming click that tells me all is safe and no little fingers will be able to pry it open.

Yet all the while, I know it's a futile effort. I sense it. Those tiny ears listening, seeking out any weakness when maybe the click wasn't strong enough and perhaps an opportunity still exists to sneak in. He lurks. Waiting. Planning the next bathroom attack...


BellWookie said...

Do you need me to send you some door knob covers & toilet locks?! :) Baby Michael took a dip in the toilet just about a week ago. Poor dolly!

charlotte narunsky said...

oh hahahahahaha!! I think we have the same one year old boy! Mine has an incredible talent for dropping things in the loo just as it is being flushed. Genius!

Andy & Rebecca said...

Hee hee!!! Gretchen you've got to go see my blog. I did an entry last week about Grant... you will definitely be able to relate!!!!

Loved the post! I had a good laugh reading it.