Sunday, June 22, 2008

Who Dunnit?

It was a quiet Sunday morning. All seemed well.

And then......

The Scene of the Crime
Warning: The image you are about to view may be considered too graphic for some. Please use discretion before continuing.


It was a scene of horror, almost too much for words. It was splattered everywhere. Chocolate spread on the floors, on the walls, the counters, the windows. The chair seen in the above photo as well as the table where the dreadful deed was committed got the worst of it. We wanted to turn our heads away, but we knew that there was work to be done if we were to solve this heinous crime.

The Clues
We immediately set about searching the crime scene to determine who the culprit was, who could have committed such an act.

The First Clue - The Chocolate Covered Sugar Cube
We were obviously dealing with someone with no sense of limits and a great need for satiation. Only a very indoctrinated sweet tooth would dip a sugar cube in chocolate spread and feel no remorse. We entered this information into our data base and moved on.

The Second Clue - The Chocolate Spread
Again, the lack of limits, but this time we could sense the frenzy behind it. It was grusome. The thick, coagulating chocolate dripping down the sides, as if something had been continuously stuck into the jar, over and over and over, each time leading to further destruction.

The Third Clue - The ChairWe turned our attention to the chair. It had obviously been used by the offender to reach the scene of the crime. Climbed upon and then spattered with evidence, the chair promised some clues. We at first had hopes of finding fingerprints that would help us to identify this stealth being, but alas, the chocolate spread was too thick, too smudged, to sticky to allow us any decent prints. Momentarily blocked, we took out a bit of brioche to help clear our minds. Brioche is very good with chocolate spread.

The Fourth Clue - The Splatter Marks
Revitalized from our quick snack, we looked towards the splatter pattern. Given the pattern of the splatter marks, low on the walls, the cupboards, the floor, we deduced that the culprit was of small build, most likely below average in height, a dwarf even. We were closing in on him. Surely it wouldn't be long.

The Fifth Clue - The Identifying Piece
And then we found it. We had nailed him. The culprit had not been as careful as he had thought. He got careless and left behind the one piece of evidence that would forever link him to the crime. The dummy. We knew instantly who it was and just where to find him. Quickly, we took off to apprehend him.

Cuffed - The Apprehension
Our work had been quick and efficient. We caught the criminal, red, ...er brown, handed. So fast was our deduction work that he had not even had time to hide the evidence. Or even have a good snack. We had got our man and he was going to pay for it.

Attempt at Escape
We should have known by the nature of the crime that he would not go quietly and accept his punishment. No sooner had we let go then he quickly set about trying to escape, surely to commit more disasterous crimes. In the end, we got our man.

But ladies and gentlemen, please don't let this happen to you. Although we have caught one, there are many more like him out there, on the loose. They are generally small in stature, less than 3ft, and behave in odd manners often twirling or laughing ridiculously for no apparently reason. They have developed a secret code language of babbles, grunts and high pitched squeals in order to communicate among themselves, leaving the rest of us wondering what they are planning.

They are sly. Very very sly.

I beg you, be vigililent or this too could happen to you.

47 comments:

Monevor said...

This is the greatest, funniest post I've read in a long, long time ;) it made my day. Brilliant pictures, too. Glad I don't have to clean up that mess, though, lol.

Rosebud Collection said...

What a wonderful blog..Just love seeing what children do..After raising five girls,now all are married..I miss it.

Bunny said...

Hahahahha!
Oh chichi!!!
Dan even thought that was hilarious.
We're adding this to the list of reasons why we should get a pug rather than have a baby ;)

cloudhopping said...

Oh chichi! You have made me smile today! Reminds me of the time I caught my daughter sitting on the sofa with an open jar of marmite - luckily we got to her before major damage!

Meghan said...

lol that is too cute! Although the mess must have taken long to clean up!

ira said...

LOL:)))))
lucky things, must be so yummy:))))

ingermaaike said...

HAHAHA *falls off chair*

I have 3 of such criminals, punishment does nothing but strengthen their resolve for more sweetness!

Star of the East said...

Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa!!!
Thank you so much for the good laughter and good luck with the cleaning (o gosh)!!

X by Leina Neima said...

Heheheheheeee.... *drops down*. Great story!

Laura's Left Hook said...

I am amazed you had the presence of mind to take photos. It reminds me of the time my oldest daughter decided her baby doll needed to have
Vaseline rubbed all over her, in addition to the walls.

Pegasus Handmade Soaps said...

I have to say that was the funniest blog post I ever read. Love the photos and boy does that bring back memories. Thanks for the laugh and I hope it didn't take too long cleaning it up. :-)

Fabianna said...

We need stiffer crime laws in the U.S. These perpetrators have been getting off with just a bath and teeny dab of diaper cream on the behind. We need to send out the message that the decent citizens will not take it anymore! THE HORROR!

Jeannie said...

Great story! And what a fun way to deal with it, too.

THanks for sharing!

Jeannie
MamaSewsFun on etsy, saw your post!

bee said...

ohhhh that made me *beam* big.

thanks for sharing it :)

Cheryl said...

I had a huge lemonade spill on the carpet the other day....and I thought THAT was bad! OMG, I laugh for you, I cry for you! Really enjoyed this post!

Hey Harriet said...

HAHAHA!!! Brilliant post! Laughed all the way through it! I LOVE chocolate, yet weirdly after looking at those choc smeared images I'm not craving any right now. Oh gosh...hope it hasn't put me off chocolate for life. Aaaarrgh!

fleurfatale said...

Oh Chichi, this is really..... funny,
I have 4 of these little criminals in the house, but I have never seen this!

Kreativlink said...

Oh my.... I LOVE this story, the pics and everything! :)
What a clever little guy, to put sugar in there! He is right after my taste! :)

katydiddy said...

How adorable! That's the funniest post I've read in awhile. Hey, you could still play at my blog party-just take some pictures of the old room before you move. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I LOVE your illustration work.

Elise of Argyle Whale said...

What a scene!

Bek said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

That was hilarious! I love that you took the time to take pictures :) I'm sure this will be a story to share over and over and over again, especially in the presence of young ladies said criminal may try to woo!

Allison said...

Hopefully he won't be a repeat offender ;]

stamping bella said...

chichi, you are HILARIOUS!! I looove the story.. the hints... the clues.. the culprit... I have a couple of those culprits in my very own home..LOL
OMG poor you.. that must have been HELL to clean up :(
mwah!
Em

Heidi Kimmerly said...

HaHa - this really made me smile and brought back many memories. Thanks for the chuckle. Your writing of it is fabulous!!!

debsmuddle said...

Hilarious chichi I bet you are still clearing up

spinninglovelydays said...

OMG, this post is so funny! I showed it to the people around me and we're all laughing right now. I'm going to show this to my Marguerite (same age as Leopold) later just to see how she reacts. :-D

Bon said...

laughing my bum off, Gretchen.

and wow...what an efficient mess-maker. dude.

littlebird said...

he he
at least he made a good job of it nothing like putting your heart in to some thing!

La Alicia said...

that was hilarious! thanks for making me giggle. will be back soon to read more about your adventures! :)

Dee's Digital Designs said...

That post just made my night! Too funny and the narrative along with the photos was awesome!

Thank you so much for sharing.

Dawn Alice Rogers said...

This had us laughing out loud! We have two such rebels in our house. You can never take your eyes off them!

made by molly said...

hilarious!

BellWookie said...

I prefer the word sneaky, but sly works. how adorable is wee L of the chubby thighs & chocolate face.

Knitty Dirty Girl said...

oh my gosh, this is great!!!! LOL

Tickle Me Pink said...

LOL such a great story!! Thanks for the laugh ^_~

susantodd said...

Hysterical!!!!! LOVE the way you "trailed" your culprit - what a great scrapbook page this would make!

Handcrafted by LaMar said...

WOW what a mess....my 2 yr old is the same way with my craft supplies, paper, ribbon and stamps....
Cant be mad though look at his chocolate covered face

Tiddly Inks said...

Very funny post! Clever writing and such a cute little kiddo! :)

Minx said...

Oh my, this really brought tears to my eyes, it's cleverly done and very funny, thanks for sharing the info, i shall be keeping my eyes peeled for fellow criminals lol

Kezzaroo said...

I am dying from laughing so much thank you xxx

Arty Allsorts said...

brilliant way to tell a funny story - great pics too - still chuckling. My nephew made an almighty mess once or twice in his early years (tipped over a deep fat fryer when trying to carry it to a plug, 2 litres of oil all over new carpet, but luckily didn't manage to plug anything in) now he's just playing with electronic stuff 'to see how it works' !! BOYS!

charlotte narunsky said...

oooohhhhhhhhhh!!!!
my sides hurt!!!
excellent!

The Devil's Dance Floor said...

How absolutely perfect! Wonderful post and pictures- although I am very glad that it wasn't me! Too funny!

PamperingBeki said...

Bahaha!!! Hysterical!!

There are oats in there, right? Oats are nutritious so it can't be all bad!

Fabulous post.

niftyknits said...

wonderful. beats cleaning up after drunken teens :-)

Lorie said...

Oh, my goodness...that is absolutely hilarious! I love the way your mind thinks!

wildchildnatural said...

i love this post, especially the way you wrote it, and great pics.