Who Dunnit?

It was a quiet Sunday morning. All seemed well.

And then......

The Scene of the Crime
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It was a scene of horror, almost too much for words. It was splattered everywhere. Chocolate spread on the floors, on the walls, the counters, the windows. The chair seen in the above photo as well as the table where the dreadful deed was committed got the worst of it. We wanted to turn our heads away, but we knew that there was work to be done if we were to solve this heinous crime.

The Clues
We immediately set about searching the crime scene to determine who the culprit was, who could have committed such an act.

The First Clue - The Chocolate Covered Sugar Cube
We were obviously dealing with someone with no sense of limits and a great need for satiation. Only a very indoctrinated sweet tooth would dip a sugar cube in chocolate spread and feel no remorse. We entered this information into our data base and moved on.

The Second Clue - The Chocolate Spread
Again, the lack of limits, but this time we could sense the frenzy behind it. It was grusome. The thick, coagulating chocolate dripping down the sides, as if something had been continuously stuck into the jar, over and over and over, each time leading to further destruction.

The Third Clue - The ChairWe turned our attention to the chair. It had obviously been used by the offender to reach the scene of the crime. Climbed upon and then spattered with evidence, the chair promised some clues. We at first had hopes of finding fingerprints that would help us to identify this stealth being, but alas, the chocolate spread was too thick, too smudged, to sticky to allow us any decent prints. Momentarily blocked, we took out a bit of brioche to help clear our minds. Brioche is very good with chocolate spread.

The Fourth Clue - The Splatter Marks
Revitalized from our quick snack, we looked towards the splatter pattern. Given the pattern of the splatter marks, low on the walls, the cupboards, the floor, we deduced that the culprit was of small build, most likely below average in height, a dwarf even. We were closing in on him. Surely it wouldn't be long.

The Fifth Clue - The Identifying Piece
And then we found it. We had nailed him. The culprit had not been as careful as he had thought. He got careless and left behind the one piece of evidence that would forever link him to the crime. The dummy. We knew instantly who it was and just where to find him. Quickly, we took off to apprehend him.

Cuffed - The Apprehension
Our work had been quick and efficient. We caught the criminal, red, ...er brown, handed. So fast was our deduction work that he had not even had time to hide the evidence. Or even have a good snack. We had got our man and he was going to pay for it.

Attempt at Escape
We should have known by the nature of the crime that he would not go quietly and accept his punishment. No sooner had we let go then he quickly set about trying to escape, surely to commit more disasterous crimes. In the end, we got our man.

But ladies and gentlemen, please don't let this happen to you. Although we have caught one, there are many more like him out there, on the loose. They are generally small in stature, less than 3ft, and behave in odd manners often twirling or laughing ridiculously for no apparently reason. They have developed a secret code language of babbles, grunts and high pitched squeals in order to communicate among themselves, leaving the rest of us wondering what they are planning.

They are sly. Very very sly.

I beg you, be vigililent or this too could happen to you.