Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Never offer ostrich

My husband is a very thoughtful person, I will admit. On days when I'm down, he'll come home with flowers or some little surprise to brighten my spirit. He loves to cook and will often cook up a favourite recipe of mine for us to share on a weekend evening. And I've had my fair share of gifts so that I couldn't really complain. Overall, I would say I'm a pretty lucky girl.

But, it's a well known fact that every silver lining must have a dark cloud, and today that dark lining was a shade of blackest black. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a bit. I'll settle for dark grey.

It was a pretty awful day around here today. The kids are still on holidays for another week, but unfortunately mummy isn't and does have work to be done. While I tried to entertain them or at least give them ideas to entertain themselves, they seemed to have other plans and expected me to play along with them. And if they couldn't get me to play, they had a back-up plan of driving me mad by playing their version of 20 questions. In their version, it's multiplied by 1000. So while I tried to update orders or finish up projects, I struggled to simultaneously respond to the barrage of 'when is lunch?' and 'can I write an email?' and 'where are the biscuits?'.

Our youngest is still very much in holiday mode and spent most of the morning asking about the weather - 'maman, il va faire chaud? froid? (mummy, is it going to be hot? cold?) or wondering exactly when it is that we're going out for a walk. The slightest sign that I could be moving in the direction of the door brought up a flurry of 'on y va? maintenant?' (are we going? now?) as he rushed to get his shoes on the wrong feet. This is the same child who has a propensity for stealing fruit and eating far too much of it, leading to a minor problem in our potty training efforts. It all comes out much too easily, leaving no time for running to the loo before an accident occurs.

If this wasn't enough, we've of course added a puppy to the mix. A puppy who thinks she's a cat and is quite the agile climber. The lovely safe corner we created for her while she learns to be house-trained has proven an all too easy challenge to her and she is no sooner placed in it than she is climbing straight out.

Between the untrained puppy and the really-not-constipated toddler, a good part of today was taken up with my hands in some kind of muck. Mostly with one hand in the toilet trying to salvage accidented pants while the other hand attempted to keep the pants' owner from touching anything in his immediate vicinity and my foot tried to hold open the bathroom door to allow me to shout at the puppy from across the room in hopes of keeping her from leaving any more thoughtful gifts for me to clean up. And let's not forget all the questions that just kept coming.

It wasn't a good day at all.

But then my afore mentioned thoughtful husband told me he was going to make dinner for me and things started to look up. I thought for a moment that all would not be lost in the 24 hours that made up today. Sadly it was to be a fleeting thought, lasting only the amount of time that it took my husband to tell me what exactly was to be on the menu and for my brain to register what he had said because it wasn't obvious straight away that I had actually heard correctly. It took a few times repeating it my head to believe it.

It's the schism that will forever divide the sexes - what makes for a smile-inducing dinner. Men, take note: when your wife or girlfriend or sister or mother or just plain friend has had a difficult day, please please please do not under any circumstance repeat my husband's folly. It will only make it worse. Guaranteed. Offer chocolate, offer macaroni and cheese, offer mashed potatoes or pizza or pasta or ice cream. But do not, ever, truly never, offer ostrich.

It just doesn't work.

I cried. I really did. I was on the phone with my mum and I cried. It started out as laughter at the ridiculousness of it all, but it ended in tears. Although I am usually able to find the humour in situations such as these, the ostrich was just too much. It pushed me over the edge. It wasn't the kids or the dog or even the poo. It was the world's largest bird that made me cry today.

As I write this, I still have 4 ostrich steaks in the refrigerator - uncooked, untouched, uneaten. Anyone want to come to dinner?

16 comments:

Giffysk8s said...

Yes! I'll come! But let's order pizza. :)

Hang in there. That gray lining will look bright and shiny in another day or so. The ostrich is yucky, but your hubby's heart and love for you isn't. I hope you were able to laugh after you cried.

When you are my age and are a grandma, you will recount this day with a lot of smiles and laughter, and you will long to live it again. :)

Hugs from across the pond!

Kaja said...

I'll come! But I'll bring chocolate. Ok?

Lots of hugs and hope that tomorrow will be a better one!

Dawn of LaTouchables said...

I couldn't eat ostrich, either, unless you told me it was chicken.

Things will be better today!

BlueTerracotta said...

Wow, it does sound like an awful day...but at least your boy eats fruit and not candy; the puppy will grow into a well-trained obedient dog, and as Giffysk8s said, you can always order pizza! My in-laws served ostrich steaks once...I now how you feel :(

Kreativlink said...

Oh my... *hugs*
But at least dear hubby has learned a lesson, right? :)

Star of the East said...

Hugs to you, some days it is just hard too cope with everything...

ingermaaike said...

Here is some fresh baked bread with drippy butter and a hanky for you...

A bench is a great way to train your dog (and a great place to stuff overly curious kids too...)

Sigmosaics said...

oh dear .. i do hope that today is a brighter day for you! i've never eaten ostrich .. it's a shame he didn't tell you it was something else ;)
hugs, kerrin

gretchenmist said...

hello and i feel your pain!! you might have felt like you'd entered a bad dream ~ what would compel a man to offer ostrich??
hope tomorrow is a better day for you :)

kraplap said...

Oh ChiChi, despite all your pain and trouble, I had to laugh reading this post; you are a born writer ! I just saw the situation on the loo in front of me....

Paperfection said...

Uh-oh, ostrich would not be on my mind either on such a day! All the best!

Jennifer Rose said...

hmm wonder what ostrich tastes like. I'd probably be all right if hubby decided to cook it ;)

sorry you were having a bad day, hopefully it improved!

aliceinparis said...

Never Offer Ostrich, sounds like a great title for a book!
Oh dear, sounds like you had a really difficult day. I hope today you get macaroni and cheese:)oh, and some chocolate!

Chichiboulie said...

On your suggestion Shelagh, I've changed the title of this post! :D

BTW - I will evenually have the ostrich, it's just not exactly what I had in mind for yesterday. Or ever in general, but hey, it can't be that bad can it?

SoBella Creations said...

Sometimes Men just don't have a clue.

I hope your today is much better.

ArtMind said...

OMG, poor Gretchen!
I will cross my fingers that the next few days will pass by fast so that you will have some me-time!
Hang in there!